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Joke thread

Article about: Lol Ryan

  1. #21

    Default Re: Joke thread

    Hehehehe reminded me of this one Nick.


    Some funny posts fella's.
    All the best

  2. #22

    Default Re: Joke thread

    A very old men with is slightly youger wife enter a restaurant in Bastogne (Belgium!)
    When seated at the table a young (Belgian!)waiter approches them to take the order.
    That is when the older lady tells the waiter that faith braught them to his restaurant; because here husband had a severe time there during the last WW!!
    She tells him that here husband faught during the war a great battle at Bastogne and that he wanted to see that area just one more time, and that is how they ended in that restaurant.
    The youg waiter hurrys to his boss in the kitchen to tell him the news.
    The (Belgian!) boss, who is cocking, is very happy to have thise war hero in his restaurant and orders the waiter to give that couple all they want for free, as a tribute for his war sacrifices!!
    So the ealdery couple eat very well and gets all the best the restaurant can offer.
    When they finished the patron of the restaurant calls his staff and asked to line up at the door to pay there respect to these war hero when he leaves the restaurant.
    So there they are the patron, the waiter, his disswasher and the maid at the door in a row in order to pay there respect.
    ...and the old man goes to the patron, shakes his hand and says "danke schön "...
    ps it is a joke that works here (Belgium!!), sorry if no appropriated!
    Always looking for Belgian Congo stuff!

  3. #23

    Default Re: Joke thread

    Its late 1940. Hitler calls Mussolini on the phone:

    "Benito aren't you in Athens yet?"
    "I can't hear you Adolf."
    "I said aren't you in Athens yet?"
    "I can't hear you. You must be ringing from a long way off, presumably London?"

    Best Regards,


    [/COLOR][CENTER][COLOR=#ff0000][SIZE=3]URGENTLY LOOKING FOR: 1982 era Argentine military issue goggles. Fravida 109, and "Sanbuee" French lens type

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  4. #24

    Wink Re: Joke thread

    A couple of good ones.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Collect ROA, Cossack, Schuma and other WW2 Volunteer militaria.

    "Be Humble and kind, for you may find that it was Odin you entertained"

  5. #25

    Default Re: Joke thread

    Some good rib-ticklers here guys, thanks for posting them.

    Here is one the Fuhrer's jokes, that everybody within the inner circle knew word for word. Presumably due to him telling it on a weekly basis. Nevertheless, it is a good one...

    The Reichsmarschall is proudly standing in his underwear in front of the bedroom mirror, waving his baton around his "marriage quarter", when in walks his wife, who asks "My darling, what are you doing?", to which Goring proudly exclaims "I am promoting my underpants to Oberpants!"
    Experienced guide and published author leading detailed study trips to the former KZ sites of Nazi Germany. Contact for further details.

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  6. #26

    Default Re: Joke thread

    Pas De Calais ... summer 1940 (By the view finder)

    (Luftwaffe officer) .... "Gott in Himmel !!!!! Hasn't anybody got a franc !!!!"

    Attached Images Attached Images

  7. #27

    Default Re: Joke thread

    not really jokes in the strict sense but couldn't resist a couple of quotes from the superb Fawlty Tower's "Don't mention the War" episode

    German Guest: Can we help you?
    Basil Fawlty: Oh, you speak English.
    German Guest: Of course.
    Basil Fawlty: Ah, wonderful! WUNDERBAR! Ahh! Please allow me to introduce myself, I am the owner of Fawlty Towers. And may I welcome your war... your war... you wall... you all... you all, and hope that your stay will be a happy one. Now, would you like to eat first, or would you like a drink before the war... AHH! Er... trespassers will be tied up with piano wire... SORRY, SORRY!

    Basil Fawlty: Listen, don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.

    Basil Fawlty: Well, I'll just get your hors d'oeuvres. [German accent] Hors d'oeuvres... vich must be obeyed at all times vitout qvestion!

    and the classic

    Basil Fawlty: Is there something wrong?
    German Guest: Will you stop talking about the war?
    Basil Fawlty: Me? You started it.
    German Guest: We did not!
    Basil Fawlty: Yes, you did. You invaded Poland.

  8. #28

    Default Re: Joke thread

    Berlin, mid-April, 1945, Führer bunker.

    Hitler is giving a conference in a crowded room full of generals and field marshals. He is furiously pointing at a map of Berlin and throwing a tantrum about troop movements.
    Suddenly from the back of the room erupts a sneeze.
    Hitler freezes. The room goes quiet. Hitler slowly turns around and stares at the men in the room.
    “Who was that? Who sneezed?!?”
    No answer from the packed room.
    “I order you to answer me! Who interrupted my briefing with that sneeze?!?”
    No answer.
    “Fine,” Hitler growled and motioned for two armed SS guards to come forward, “Pick three of these officers and have them shot at once.”
    The SS men randomly picked the three unlucky men and marched them out of the room. Immediately, three shots were heard. The SS men returned.
    Hitler sternly said to the now trembling men, “I will ask again. Who sneezed?”
    No answer.
    “If that is the way you want it!” Hitler motioned for the SS men again. “Pick three more at once!”
    The SS men did, removed them from the room, three shots were heard and the SS men returned to their posts.
    “For the last time,” Hitler shuddered with rage, “Which one of you sneezed?!?”
    From the back of the room a terrified general croaked up, “Mein Führer, it was me.”
    Hitler shuffled towards the general, the other officers getting out of the way. He walked to within an inch of the general’s face and said,

  9. #29

    Default Re: Joke thread

  10. #30

    Default Re: Joke thread

    A British Airways 747 was approaching the Frankfurt Airport one afternoon. The pilot radioed the tower for landing instructions. The arrogant German air traffic controller quickly gave the pilot instructions and told him which gate to taxi up to. The pilot asked for more detailed instructions. The air traffic controller replied, "Don't you know your way around here? Have you not ever been to Frankfurt before? The British pilot replied, "Yes, I have. Twice in 1945 but it was dark and we didn't land!"

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