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US Sailor humor

Article about: I picked this SP arm band and navy book up the other dayand as I was looking in the book the papers fell out . My wife got a kick out of the do you know an American sailor poam.

  1. #11

    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    No worries Ade, I've made the point my wife has never, ever brought me a bucket of beer ("Bucket-of-Beer" - sounds like a good song title actually)

  2. #12
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    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    I posted this last night then went to bed. My wife heard me laughing fom upstairs and asked why I was laughing . Your responds to this post made my day . I'm still laughing . Gary

  3. #13

    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    In the same vein , English Officers says to Australian soldier - "I hope you've come here to die" and he answers " No Sir, I got here yesterdai" (an old one I Know)

  4. #14
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    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    Greimers I like that one . Gary

  5. #15

    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    I'm still coming to terms with the fact that all the times my wife offered to get me a "bucket -of -beer" wasn't actually a sign of love.

  6. #16
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    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    Greimers I just sprayed my coffee all over the place that is some funny sh##&. Gary

  7. #17

    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    The difference between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Canadians:



    Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
    Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
    Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
    Canadians: Believe that that is the government's job.


    Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
    Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
    Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
    Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.


    Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
    Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
    Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
    Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.


    Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
    Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
    Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
    Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.


    Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
    Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
    Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
    Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.


    Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians, ignored by Americans, and therefore not rich.
    Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
    Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
    Americans: Think that these people are American!


    Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
    Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
    Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
    Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.


    Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
    Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
    Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
    Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.


    Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
    Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
    Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, in either language, when they can be bothered to sing them.
    Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.


    Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
    Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
    Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
    Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.
    "In all my years as a soldier, I have never seen men fight so hard." - SS Obergruppenfuhrer Wilhelm Bittrich - Arnhem

  8. #18
    ?

    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    Quote by Stickgrenade View Post
    The difference between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Canadians:

    -----------------------

    .
    Very very funny. Made me laugh. Thanks for posting.
    Also funny because the poster is sitting in York drinking warm, beery tasting ....

  9. #19

    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    Thats affirmative and concise

  10. #20

    Default Re: US Sailor humor

    I worked in UK for 6 months in the nineties and they would not believe I had never watched "Neighbours" - how sad !

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