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German WW2 jokes

Article about: Hello, I wanna present some German WW2 black humour jokes, created by Harald Schmidt, a popular German TV comedian. I think in the times of terror you need something to laugh and get other t

  1. #21


    These are from a trove of recently found genuine WWII German jokes, which was a mild form of resistance in the Reich. I'm pretty sure these are not recent fakes

    "Hitler visits a lunatic asylum, where the patients all dutifully perform the German greeting. Suddenly, Hitler sees one man whose arm is not raised. "Why don't you greet me the same way as everyone else," he hisses at the man. The man answers: "My Führer, I'm an orderly. I'm not crazy!"

    Last edited by Larboard; 11-20-2015 at 02:42 AM.

  2. #22


    "The true Aryan is as blond as Hitler, as slim as Göring and as tall as Goebbels."

  3. #23


    "An adjutant bursts into Görings office: "The Reichstag is on fire!!". Göring checks his watch and says: "What, already?"

  4. #24


    "Two men encounter one another on the street, and the first one says: "Nice to see you out again. How was in the concentration camp?" The second men replies; "It was great. Mornings we got breakfast in bed, with our choice of freshly ground coffee or cocoa. We did some sports, and then there was a three-course lunch with soup, meat and dessert. After that we played some board games and took a nap. And after dinner, they showed movies." The first man can't believe his ears. "Wow! And the lies they spread about the place. Recently I was talking to Meyer, who also spent some time there. He told me horror stories." The second man nods seriously and says: "That's why he got sent back."

  5. #25


    Funny joke but dark story associated with this one...

    "Hitler and Göring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces. So Göring says: "Why don't you jump?"

    A factory worker, Marianne K., was executed for telling this joke. Her husband had been killed in Stalingrad.

  6. #26


    If Hitler, Göring and Goebbels were on a ship in a storm and the ship would sink, who would be saved?

    Answer: Germany.

  7. #27


    "What has gold in its mouth, silver in its hair and lead in its bones?

    A member of the Volkssturm."

    On September 25, 1944, Hitler was forced to call up a "Volkssturm," or "popular offensive." This pathetic militia consisted of Hitler Youths and of men up to sixty who had previous been deemed unfit for military service.

  8. #28


    Not a german joke as such, but from a news paper of the day ,a cartoon by the great Giles.Cheers ,Paul (made mechuckle) Click image for larger version. 

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  9. #29

  10. #30


    Quote by GoodOldGermany View Post
    Are that Britains? I know, that they like to drink too much, especially on holidays. And then they sleep under the sun on the beach and enter the hotel with a red skin in the afternoon.
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    'I do not think we can hope for any better thing now.
    We shall stick it out to the end, but we are getting weaker of course, and the end cannot be far.
    It seems a pity, but I do not think I can write more. R. SCOTT.
    Last Entry - For God's sake look after our people.'

    In memory of Capt. Robert Falcon Scott, Edward Wilson, Henry Bowers, Lawrence Oates and Edgar Evans. South Pole Expedition, 30th March 1912.

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