Hello, I wanna present some German WW2 black humour jokes, created by Harald Schmidt, a popular German TV comedian. I think in the times of terror you need something to laugh and get other thoughts:
Why are we drinking an Austrian beer, when the German economy is doing badly? Are we ready for a new war?
The German Bahn presents the new "Interrail Ticket". 4 weeks free travel with one ticket through Europe. In the past we called it Wehrmacht.
Please listen, listen you wonderful American people, be careful with the area around Domburg, Mittelburg and Renesse. And Seeland. Avoid Seeland, you can see it, because there are big wind mills and a big traffic jam, some kilometers behind Antwerp. Dont bomb this traffic jam. Thats we. You saved us. You freed us. Also the people, who didnt want to be free. 70 years ago. You gave us Coca Cola and shaving brushes and everything. And some of you fu...ed our Fräuleins. So be careful, please!
Today a famous German lady is celebrating her 100th anniversary - Leni Riefenstahl. Happy birthday! 100 years or how some senior Germans call it: one-tenth Reich.
Leni Riefenstahl did popular films like "Triumph des Willens", where the Führer used a plane for his election battle. You can say everything bad about the Führer, but he never has used air miles.
Adolf Hitler, the bad dictator, dindt take money for his job as Reichskanzler, cause he told the people, that he earns enough money with writing. 6 million sold books of Mein Kampf. And now the scientists found out, that he also earned money for the fact, that his head was on all stamps. Unbelievable! He built his home on the Obersalzberg by using public money. Prevented with the motto "Reich ins Heim" (Heim ins Reich).
Our Bundeskanzler Gerhard Schröder disgrees about the Iraq politics of George Bush and Tony Blair. I think, that it would be bad, if we get trouble with our American and British friends - now, when we build up Dresden again.
Its a cliche, that all Nazis were blond. The biggest Nazi was not blond. Or did the Führer dye his hair?
Now you can buy a new DVD of the Führer. With a making off and some extra campaings, which were not shown in the war.
Hitler has read Karl May? OMG! Did Karl May make the rising of the Nazis possible? Was Winnetou a Gauleiter? But Old Shatterhand was a Nazi ideal: blond, with blue eyes and gay.
Why IKEA became so popular in Germany? Cause the Germans had no furniture after the war. The furniture, which was not hidden by the bombs of America, the Russians took with them to Moscow.
Boy, you became so thin during the war. Didnt you get any food? No, I coulndt open the ration packs.
Who of my television crew gave me this old school looking headset? Im looking like Göring in Nürnberg...
Our new Italian menu for restaurants: Tagliatelle with salmon, Tagliatelle without salmon and the children's portion "Mussolini".