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I destroyed my life. Where do I go from here?

Article about: I'm sorry to post this here but I have no one else to go to. I don't know what to do anymore. My money is finally drying up and I'm going broke. All my "friends" left me when they

  1. #11


    "Oh dear!

    Well, you posted the thread so stand by for some hard advice from those who really have "seen the ocean".

    When I was 16 I became a soldier following a fairly tough upbringing (no complaints from me). During the first two weeks I had more beatings than the rest of my life put together but I was not unfairly treated (I deserved it) it was education. Not too long (about 18 months) I was getting shot at, petrol bombed and spat at by people of the same nationality. I was just 19 when a colleague standing no more than a metre away was shot dead by a sniper. This was just the start of a long and mostly (apart from the really exciting bits) happy career. I eventually ended up in a job that shows me all the really nasty characteristics of people at large. Along the way I have had personal grief of course. Not least of which was my wife suffering two major cancers (she survived) as did my sister at the same time (she didn't) and my own health issues ( a result of my earlier experiences) currently threatening my sight.
    None of this has made me as self pitying as you seem to be now.

    I don't mean to be unsympathetic but you have to realise that you are so young and have so little experience of life that you really must get a grip and deal with the things that are distressing you now which are ,as you will realise later, small beer.

    Get a hold of yourself and as Gunny says Man Up FFS!

    As my old Sgt Maj used to say "they can't shoot you and they can't make you pregnant, so how bad can it be?"

    Good luck

    Mark "

    This is surely the most wonderful post I have ever read on this forum. Hurra!
    damit, basta.

  2. #12
    MAP is online now



    I've known since you joined and we have spoken often. You have a good soul. To succeed and overcome these setback, you need to look deep inside. As William has said, you control your life and destiny.

    And as to your so called friends who left you? Well they were not your friends if all they cared about was your $. A wonderful man once told the story of the prodigal son. Read it!!!

    We're here for you buddy. It won't be easy and there will be set backs, but keep focused on your goal and stay on the straight and narrow path.

    My greatest fear is that one day I will die and my wife will sell my guns for what I told her I paid for them

    "Don't tell me these are investments if you never intend to sell anything" (Quote: Wife)

  3. #13


    Thank you to everyone who has responded. I am indeed reading and listening to everyone who has posted. I will talk more in the morning as im pretty tired now.

  4. #14


    Your problems are of your creation and the path to an improved, beneficial life is in your hands. If you are serious about improving your life, get professional help. Running away to another country will not solve anything. You are at an age where all of us went through the confusion of graduating from being a child to becoming a man. The first thing you need to do is take responsibility for where you are today and if serious, do everything possible to change your lifestyle 10%.


  5. #15


    A great friend of mine always tells me that if thats the X amount of money it took to get rid of me then he is doing pretty well. Life is hard and from what others tell me it only gets harder. BUT, life is also beautiful and part of the beauty in life is the hardships we must go through. There is no light without darkness and there is no sunshine without rain. Life will always get better if you make the choices to put yourself on the right path. Everyone here has, is or will go through some really rough times, so you are not alone.

  6. #16


    From my perspective, money and greed drive our world as we live it now. As other's have said that you should apologize to your mate, and I totally agree. Try and apologize and ask her to have a talk for a moment, then explain where you're coming from. AZPhil has a wonderful point. Live life to the fullest, you're just starting. You and you alone has to find what you want in life, and only you can decide such things. I'm a little older than you,and in college. I went through what you're going through now, when you're a teen and young adult, except on the receiving end of it. I fought with my brother physically, and countless times just name calling each other. I stumbled upon my brother having a pound of drugs in a backpack when I was 14. It sucked. He lied, and he stole from me. I was fed up with it and I absolutely wanted nothing to do with him, At the time, I was a freshman in HS, and he was a senior. He drove me to school in the mornings, and I absolutely refused to go with him, look at him, or have anyone talk about him at a time that I was around. Later that month, he began dating a nice girl and ended up telling her that he quit and she went to me for advice to see if he was actually telling the truth. Behold, he once again hadn't told the truth, and she moved on while my brother blamed me for ruining a "perfect" relationship. He soon found himself and apologized for what he had done. Through that, I had lacked trust in him, but when he apologized I began to understand what he was going through with depression, and what he had going on at the time. Through all of this, a few years later, we had become to get closer than we ever had before, when only 2 years ago we were trying to fight each other. He told me that it was his only escape as a young adult, and began to give me an insight of his daily life with bullying. Explain to your friend what's happening. Be truthful. Your life isn't over. You need to make the decision to bring yourself back up and fix what you've tampered with. You can do it!
    Don't ever give up, and when you feel like you have nowhere else to turn, never go to drugs. it's awesome in the beggining , when you feel good and when you feel healthy but then time passes and you always feel like shit...

    I recently found a video about this woman who had been born in a "slum" as she called it, and when she was 13 to 16, she was shooting heroin, and was frequently raped by her father as I recall. She's in her 30's now and has written a book about how she found herself, and what she truly went through.

    Please don't give up.

    Best of luck,

  7. #17


    Click image for larger version. 

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ID:	930092With discipline, responsibility, and a sense of the preciousness of your young life, which you should do all to preserve, you have the riches of time to grow fully into an adult. This process is thwarted today with a perverted culture that celebrates puberty as an end in itself, and has gutted civilization of its ideals of character and bearing.
    Embrace these ideals of character and bearing, and your problem with young women will swiftly vanish, even if you do not have a large bank account. The Germans remind us that the joy in taking responsibility is the sublime aspect of being a leader. This idea as applied to teen age life has run into a brick wall of dog eat dog emphasis on
    what in my day was called being "popular." In very few instances, did those who were "popular" with the peer group ca. 1968 amount to much of anything by the year
    1980. (I am about to turn 63 years of age, like good ole' Putin) Later in life, all the girls who spurned me then manifested quite an interest in me, actually,
    which is impossible to conceive of in the sorrows of young Werther at seventeen. Life and health are precious beyond any measure, and the joy of responsibility
    imposes, even at a young age, the requirement of discipline. Not in an extreme, but in balanced measure.
    My life with soldiers over forty one years and more taught me this, but these ideals appealed to me at seventeen, as well.
    What some of us write must seem very harsh, but it is warranted, especially because the present is unfolding a time of lead, not gold.
    Last edited by Friedrich-Berthold; 01-30-2016 at 03:30 AM.
    damit, basta.

  8. #18


    I had posted on this forum a week ago that my son had joined the army. What I didn't tell people is that he was battling a dark road as well. The drugs and alcohol were becoming an everyday occurrence with nothing to look forward to. It got to a point where he wasn't even welcome in my house anymore. One day he woke up and said "dad, you always said I was the only one who could my life. I'm tired of people looking down on me like im garbage. So today I'm changing my life forever". That same day he walked into the army recruiting office.. Point being, he identified the problem was himself much like you have. The next step is to hold your damn head up and do something about it! Nobody in this life is ever going to give you anything based on pity or how bad you think you have it. There is always someone who has it worse..always! Do something about your situation because you are the one and only person that controls your destiny.
    We have met the enemy and have learned nothing more about him. I have, however, learned some things about myself. There are things men can do to one another that are sobering to the soul. It is one thing to reconcile these things with God, but another to square it with yourself. - Robert Leckie

  9. #19


    I know we are not to mix religion and politics, but my relationship with Christ IS who I am. I would be wrong in not telling you that we can not do things on our now, we will mess it up eveytime. It is through Christ that all things are possible. I will be praying for you. Marty
    Click to enlarge the picture Click to enlarge the picture Click image for larger version. 

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    Fortune favors the brave 644th td

  10. #20
    UHU is offline


    For what it's worth you've already reached the first and most important waypoint in turning your life around. You have acknowledged to yourself that you have some serious problems and want to change in order to turn your life around. Many people in your situation never reach the point you are at and are lost. So, you are already ahead of the game.

    Don't worry about the money. You can always make more. With age you'll realize that while its nice to have money, it isn't the most important thing in life.

    Don't worry about your 'friends' who disappeared. They weren't your friends to begin with.

    You are 17 and have the most precious gift you will ever have in life still in abundance- your youth.
    Your life is still ahead of you and will be wonderful if you turn things around.

    Always remember that the only person in charge of your destiny is you. No one else writes the story of your life, but you.
    If you want to do something it is only a matter of doing it.

    Set yourself goals, even small ones and accomplish them.

    You're going through a very tough age in life and things can look very, very bleak. Many of us have been there, but you will pass through these difficult times. Time heals all, but you have to be around to enjoy what follows. Trust me, it really does get a hell of a lot better and ironically having been through hell will make you appreciate the good times even more.

    The girl sounds like a good soul. Tell her that you realize the error of your ways and that you're going to change. Then change and come back to her so you can present your new self with pride. It will give you something to work towards.

    The first thing you need to do is get off the drugs. Enroll in a program, stay away from the clubs or the circle of people who are a bad influence on you. The drugs are preventing you from thinking straight. You sound like you are a strong and intelligent enough person to sort out your own personal problems, if your mind was not clouded by drugs.

    This will not be easy, but like I said you have already accomplished the most difficult step by acknowledging that you have a problem and have expressed a desire to turn your life around. Now go and do it.

    Good luck,


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